The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
