At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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