I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
