Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
