I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
