You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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