Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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