apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
