I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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