barbara walters just said penis...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
