i jhust puked up my retainher.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
