Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
