How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
