im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize