Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
