my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
