If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
