That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
