We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
