He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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