SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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