Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
