nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize