I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
