Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
