I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
