please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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