your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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