Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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