Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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