I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I am one with the molecules
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
