Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
