I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
