there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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