im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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