FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
