I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
