The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
