Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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