im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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