Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I understand Curling. That high.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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