weddingsv make me drug and hornr
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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