Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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