I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize