Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
