Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
