This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
