Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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