I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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