Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
