For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
