Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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