Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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