I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
