Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
