So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
