Is it normal to miss your booty call?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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