You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
