Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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