Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
