Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Im part way to drunk.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
