just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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