You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
