The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize